Monthly Archives: December 2010

A Class Act

What Mike Shanahan is doing to Donovan McNabb is horrendous. This man poured his heart and soul into this team. He’s given his all, but his all just isn’t enough when you only have two capable receivers. But this man has been a class act. He’s one of the most storied quarterbacks in this league, and Shanahan is benching him for who? Sexy Rexy Grossman?

Sure, Rex is a scrappy player. He puts hours upon hours into his craft; quite the gym rat really. But he’s no Donovan McNabb. He doesn’t have the pedigree. He hasn’t been there. And he certainly hasn’t done that.

Furthermore, who’s calling the shots in DC? McNabb just got a $78 million, although we’re not quite sure how much of it is really guaranteed. But the more and more we watch Shanahan, Donovan, and the ‘Skins, the more it appears they won’t all three be together next year. So is Daniel Snyder really as absentminded as we all think? I believe the answer is yes.

If you didn’t quite get the bit, you may want to watch this. Irregardless, here are my Week 15 NFL picks. Home teams in CAPS.

CHARGERS (-8.5) over Niners
Believe it or not, the Chargers are only one game out of the playoffs. In the words of Drake, “Better late than never, but never late is better.”

BENGALS (-1.5) over Browns
I almost wanted to pick Cleveland here, but I’m afraid Jake Delhomme will out-Palmer Carson Palmer. Or would that be Delhomme out-Delhomming Palmer?

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Rexy!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Rexy!

COWBOYS (-6.5) over Redskins
Is there anything more embarrassing than being benched twice in one season for Sexy Rexy? Maybe giving your quarterback $78 million after benching him once, then benching him again one month after the signing. And he won’t be a Redskin next year.

Texans (+1.5) over TITANS
The Titans just look awful. Vince Young looked like he was ready to go, but Jeff Fisher announced he was going on IR. Randy Moss is brooding on the bench, and Chris Johnson looks like Rudi Johnson. Texans AND the points? Yes, please.

COLTS (-4.5) over Jaguars
Here is another game where you really want to take the Jaguars, the sleeper team no one can possibly hold a grudge against. But this is the Colts. And this is the Jaguars. Jacksonville can usually keep these games close, but if Peyton Manning really is one of the best five quarterbacks in the league, he’ll will his team to victory today.

Chiefs (+1.5) over RAMS
Who would have ever guessed at the beginning of the year that this game would have any implications other than draft position?

Bills (+5.5) over DOLPHINS
This is a tough game to pick. Both teams are boring. Both teams have uninspiring quarterbacks. However, the Dolphins are the second worst scoring team and the Bills are a virile 23rd in the league.

BUCCANEERS (-6.5) over Lions
How did we not see this coming? Every year we say, “Okay, THIS is the year the last place NFC South team isn’t going to the playoffs!” And every year they end up going to the playoffs. So what does this tell us? The Panthers are going to take Andrew Luck #1 overall, and he will lead them to the playoffs. Speaking of the Panthers….

Cardinals (+2.5) over PANTHERS
I usually hate West teams coming East to essentially play a 10 AM game, but this is a different case. The Panthers really, really, really want the first overall pick (although I don’t know how much John Fox actually cares). Also, remember the last time Arizona came to Charlotte?

RAVENS (-2.5) over Saints
In a potential Super Bowl preview, we’ll see a slight finesse dome team go into frigid Baltimore to play a smashmouth angry Ravens team. This will be close, it will come down to the wire, but I’ll take the team with Ray Lewis at home.

Eagles (+2.5) over GIANTS
The Eagles have won five straight against the Giants. Its hard to win five games in a row against the Bills! Michael Vick no prisoners, and he will run across this tough Giants’ D.

Falcons (-6.5) over SEAHAWKS
As I’ve said many a time, the Seahawks win at home. But at the same time, Matty Ice doesn’t lose games to losing teams. This one won’t be too close.

STEELERS (-6.5) over Jets
Mark Sanchez has a 49% completion percentage against winning teams. That should be enough to tell you how this one will end up. If Sanchez can’t pass, the Jets will need to run. Good news, the Steelers have the best run defense by nearly 400 yards, holding the opposition to 2.9 yards per carry. Better prepare some good excuses, Rex!

Broncos (+6.5) over RAIDERS
This isn’t as much about how much faith I have in Tim Tebow as much as how little faith I have in the Raiders. That being said, I think the Broncos will get up for their interim coach and brand new starting QB. It happened with the Cowboys, it happened with the Vikings, it will happen with the Broncos.

PATRIOTS (-10.5) over Packers
Have you seen Tom Brady recently? 19 TDs and 0 picks since Week 7. He has no big name receivers, yet he makes it work with Wes Welker, Deion Branch, Danny Woodhead, BenJarvus Green-Ellis (4 names are better than 2), Brandon Tate, and 2 rookie tight ends. This man is better in snow than any quarterback is in a dome! Oh, and have you seen Matt Flynn? Ugh! This is your Bojangles’ Lock o’ the Week!

Bears (-3.5) over VIKINGS
I don’t know if you’ve seen Tarvaris Jackson, but he looks pretty dreadful. Like Sexy Rexy or David Carr may be an upgrade. It’s pretty turrible.

Last Week: 8-8

Season: 89-92

Bojangles Lock o’ the Week: 10-3

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That Holiday Spirit

Snow is falling across the country, malls are getting real busy, and its the season for giving. Carson Palmer is giving footballs to opposing defensive backs, Tom Brady is handing out beat downs to opposing coaches, and Gus Johnson is giving us dozens upon dozens of great play calls. I’m just about ready playoff football, and especially ready to stop talking Bills, Lions, and Browns — at least until the draft creeps around. Without further ado…the Week 14 NFL Picks. Home teams in CAPS.

Colts (-2.5) over TITANS
Peyton has not looked good recently, but he’s no Kerry Collins. Dude steps up in primetime, and this should be no different. The Colts don’t lose must win games like this one.

Browns (+1.5) over BILLS
I don’t think I’ve taken the Browns all year. I’m not jumping on the bandwagon, but I don’t really plan on taking the Bills any time soon.

Packers (-6.5) over LIONS
People seem to be overlooking the Packers because they’ve lost so many key players, but they are a very, very good team. Brandon Jackson is a viable replacement, and Aaron Rodgers is still a fantastic quarterback, even without Jermichael Finley and a the corpse of Donald Driver.

STEELERS (-9.5) over Bengals
I just love picking against the Bengals because the line just cannot be high enough. Carson Palmer is a very, very bad quarterback. Unbelievably bad. And people still don’t notice.

Buccaneers (-2.5) over REDSKINS
Josh Freeman wins games. I feel like Bill Simmons right now.

Falcons (-7.5) over PANTHERS
No Panthers line should be under 10.

When do Raider fans stop being fascinating to watch?

When do Raider fans stop being fascinating to watch?

JAGUARS (-4.5) over Raiders
Could there be two more boring teams? At least the Raiders are dysfunctional, and that’s interesting.

Seahawks (+4.5) over NINERS
The Seahawks are going to end up winning the NFC West with a horrible record. So should they be allowed into the playoffs with such a suckish record? Yes.

SAINTS (-8.5) over Rams
Sam Bradford may be the next hot thing, but he’s no Drew Brees. Beyond that the Rams are no Saints. And beyond that, St. Louis is no New Orleans.

Patriots (-3.5) over BEARS
Today is the 10th snow day in the Belichick Patriots Era. Their record in those 9 games, you ask? 9-0. You bet your biscuits this is the Bojangles Lock o’ the Week!

JETS (-6.5) over DOLPHINS
As much as I’d love for the Dolphins to take down the Jets, but it just isn’t happening. Tyler Thigpen may cut it in the CFL or UFL or even the XFL, but not the NFL.

Broncos (-3.5) over CARDINALS
The Cardinals are on their third starting quarterback. Do you know who John Skelton is? Did you know he was actually drafted? Did you know he went to Fordham? Do you know where Fordham is?

CHARGERS (-6.5) over Chiefs
Somehow, the Chargers lost a game in December last week. That won’t be happening again.

Eagles (-3.5) over COWBOYS
The Cowboys don’t have Michael Vick. The Cowboys don’t have Dez Bryant. The Cowboys don’t have Tony Romo. The Cowboys aren’t winning this game.

Giants (-2.5) over VIKINGS
It’s looking more and more like Brett Favre’s streak can’t be stopped. Snow is forcing the game to be moved to Monday Night, so Favre gets another day to get healthy. But with or without Favre, Minny won’t be winning this game.

Ravens (-3.5) over TEXANS
If the Ravens are one of the three best teams in the league, they’ll win this game. I have confidence.

Last Week: 10-6

Season: 81-84

Bojangles Lock o’ the Week: 9-3

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Lucky 13

Here we are in Week 13. Some people are in the last week of regular season of fantasy football, but the real players have five long weeks to go. Without further ado, my Lucky Week 13 picks, home teams in CAPS.

EAGLES (-8.5) over Texans
There is something just depressing about the Texans. Every year they come in with promise, and every year they end the season at 8-8. Except this year. This year they’re not even getting to .500.

Saints (-6.5) over BENGALS
I don’t get this line. The Saints are really good … and the Bengals are really bad. This game will be over fast. This is your Bojangles Lock o’ the Week!

LIONS (+3.5) over Bears
Maybe I have too much faith in the Lions. Maybe I have an irrational disliking for this Bears team. Maybe I feel bad for Detroit after they had a win in Week 1 ripped from their hands against Detroit. But I’ll take the Lions and the points here.

PACKERS (-9.5) over Niners
As many injuries as the Packers have had, they’re still a really talented team. Troy Smith just will not cut it matched up against Aaron Rodgers, and this game won’t be close on the Frozen Tundra at Lambeau Field.

Doesn't Rusty Smith sound like the name of a mechanic?

Doesn't Rusty Smith sound like the name of a mechanic?

Jaguars (+3.5) over TITANS
Kerry Collins or Rusty Smith, I’ll take the Jags. They’re completely uninspiring, but they’ve found a way to place themselves atop the AFC South, and they deserve props for that.

CHIEFS (-8.5) over Broncos
I cannot put any trust in KC Coach Todd Haley, but he has so much great help around him, specifically coordinators Charlie Weis and Romeo Crennel. KC wins at home, and they’re playing at Arrowhead Stadium today.

DOLPHINS (-4.5) over Browns
As long as Tyler Thigpen isn’t playing, I’ll take Miami.

VIKINGS (-6.5) over Bills
Ugh….what a terrible game. At least Leslie Frazier can motivate his team to step up their game against one of the four worst teams in the league.

GIANTS (-7.5) over Redskins
I generally don’t trust Eli, but against the Redskins, this is an easy pick. Even without Hakeem Nicks and Steve Smith, Eli should find a way not to throw four picks and lose the game.

CHARGERS (-12.5) over Raiders
Phillip Rivers does not lose games in December.

Falcons (-3.5) over BUCCANEERS
Is this the game where the NFC South last placed team takes over? You all know the stat, so I don’t need to repeat it. Right now, Tampa is tied with New York and Chicago for the last playoff spot. Unfortunately, today is not the day. They can win the next three games after this one (Washington, Detroit, and Seattle), but not against Matty Ice.

SEAHAWKS (-5.5) over Panthers
The Panthers are bad, and the Seahawks win at home. Simple choice.

Rams (-3.5) over CARDINALS
Do people realize the Cardinals absolutely suck? Like Carolina basketball suck?

COLTS (-5.5) over Cowboys
Peyton in a must-win? Yes, sir.

Steelers (+3.5) over RAVENS
I really trust Big Ben in these games. Of course, we haven’t seen a Baltimore offense like this in decades, but the Steelers still have the best defense in the league.

PATRIOTS (-3.5) over Jets
In a league largely run by quarterbacks and head coaches, I’ll take Brady and the Hoodie over Sanchize and Rex Ryan. The Patriots do not lose these games at home, and this is the time of year when they finally hit full stride.

Last Week: 6-10

Season: 71-78

Bojangles Lock o’ the Week: 9-2

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