That Holiday Spirit

Snow is falling across the country, malls are getting real busy, and its the season for giving. Carson Palmer is giving footballs to opposing defensive backs, Tom Brady is handing out beat downs to opposing coaches, and Gus Johnson is giving us dozens upon dozens of great play calls. I’m just about ready playoff football, and especially ready to stop talking Bills, Lions, and Browns — at least until the draft creeps around. Without further ado…the Week 14 NFL Picks. Home teams in CAPS.

Colts (-2.5) over TITANS
Peyton has not looked good recently, but he’s no Kerry Collins. Dude steps up in primetime, and this should be no different. The Colts don’t lose must win games like this one.

Browns (+1.5) over BILLS
I don’t think I’ve taken the Browns all year. I’m not jumping on the bandwagon, but I don’t really plan on taking the Bills any time soon.

Packers (-6.5) over LIONS
People seem to be overlooking the Packers because they’ve lost so many key players, but they are a very, very good team. Brandon Jackson is a viable replacement, and Aaron Rodgers is still a fantastic quarterback, even without Jermichael Finley and a the corpse of Donald Driver.

STEELERS (-9.5) over Bengals
I just love picking against the Bengals because the line just cannot be high enough. Carson Palmer is a very, very bad quarterback. Unbelievably bad. And people still don’t notice.

Buccaneers (-2.5) over REDSKINS
Josh Freeman wins games. I feel like Bill Simmons right now.

Falcons (-7.5) over PANTHERS
No Panthers line should be under 10.

When do Raider fans stop being fascinating to watch?

When do Raider fans stop being fascinating to watch?

JAGUARS (-4.5) over Raiders
Could there be two more boring teams? At least the Raiders are dysfunctional, and that’s interesting.

Seahawks (+4.5) over NINERS
The Seahawks are going to end up winning the NFC West with a horrible record. So should they be allowed into the playoffs with such a suckish record? Yes.

SAINTS (-8.5) over Rams
Sam Bradford may be the next hot thing, but he’s no Drew Brees. Beyond that the Rams are no Saints. And beyond that, St. Louis is no New Orleans.

Patriots (-3.5) over BEARS
Today is the 10th snow day in the Belichick Patriots Era. Their record in those 9 games, you ask? 9-0. You bet your biscuits this is the Bojangles Lock o’ the Week!

JETS (-6.5) over DOLPHINS
As much as I’d love for the Dolphins to take down the Jets, but it just isn’t happening. Tyler Thigpen may cut it in the CFL or UFL or even the XFL, but not the NFL.

Broncos (-3.5) over CARDINALS
The Cardinals are on their third starting quarterback. Do you know who John Skelton is? Did you know he was actually drafted? Did you know he went to Fordham? Do you know where Fordham is?

CHARGERS (-6.5) over Chiefs
Somehow, the Chargers lost a game in December last week. That won’t be happening again.

Eagles (-3.5) over COWBOYS
The Cowboys don’t have Michael Vick. The Cowboys don’t have Dez Bryant. The Cowboys don’t have Tony Romo. The Cowboys aren’t winning this game.

Giants (-2.5) over VIKINGS
It’s looking more and more like Brett Favre’s streak can’t be stopped. Snow is forcing the game to be moved to Monday Night, so Favre gets another day to get healthy. But with or without Favre, Minny won’t be winning this game.

Ravens (-3.5) over TEXANS
If the Ravens are one of the three best teams in the league, they’ll win this game. I have confidence.

Last Week: 10-6

Season: 81-84

Bojangles Lock o’ the Week: 9-3

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