Getting Over Charlie Batch

Happy finals week, Vanderbilt! Here are my Week 14 picks; home teams in CAPS.

Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked Games:

Look out for some crazy juicy Brady Quinn Browns-fueled revenge. If that's even possible.

Look out for some crazy Brady Quinn Browns-fueled revenge. If that’s even possible.

Chiefs (+7) over BROWNS
Ahh starting the picks off early with the Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That Game of the Week!

STEELERS (-8) over Chargers
I’ve reached the point where I just don’t think taking the Chargers is a good idea anymore. I know it will be tough for Pittsburgh to get over the loss of Charlie Batch with Ben Roethlisberger coming back, but I think the team will be okay.

PACKERS (-6.5) over Lions
The Lions defense is looking pretty vulnerable lately, which is never a good sign with Green Bay on the schedule.

Dolphins (+10.5) over NINERS
As fun as Colin Kaepernick is, he’s still not making the Niners offense very high-powered. San Fran should definitely win, but I’m not sure they’ll win by at least 11.

Saints (+4.5) over GIANTS
This is just a hunch. The Giants seem to lose these big games at home before they win an even bigger game on the road at the very end of the season, catch fire, and go win the Super Bowl over a far superior Patriots team.

Dunkin’ Donuts Plain Cake Games:

Broncos (-10) over RAIDERS
You try not to take a double digit line, but there’s no way I’m taking Carson Palmer now.

BUCCANEERS (-7.5) over Eagles
Nick Foles just isn’t good.

BENGALS (-3) over Cowboys
The Cowboys almost lost to Nick Foles, who just isn’t good.

Rams (+3) over BILLS
St. Louis’ defense has been very solid and Sam Bradford has been good enough to keep them in most games. And that level of mediocrity is good enough to beat Buffalo.

SEAHAWKS (-10) over Cardinals
I hesitate, as always, to bite on double digit lines, but the Seahawks are a whole new team at home. Plus I’ll need at least more points to take Ryan Lindley. The real question is: “What is a Ryan Lindley?”

KFC Double Down Games:

Ravens (+1.5) over REDSKINS
Even without Terrell Suggs (again), I’m not passing up this beautiful line. People are jumping on the RG3 bandwagon–which I fully support–and that’s pushing this line towards the Skins. Love it.

COLTS (-4) over Titans
Will people realize that the Colts are good or the Titans are bad first? These have been two of my secret best apple-betting teams.

PATRIOTS (-3.5) over Texans
This is going to be the game the whole NFL recognizes the Patriots as the best team in the league. And there’s nothing you can do about it.

Jets (-3) over JAGUARS
As a rule of thumb, you should never put a lot of apples on the Jets, but it’s hard not to like picking against the Jags while only giving up a field goal. Plus we might have a Tebow chant in Jacksonville!!

Falcons (-3.5) over PANTHERS
The Panthers lost to the Chiefs, how are they going to look good against the Falcons? Oh, right, that’s what the Panthers do. Stink for the first half of the year, then hit the gas and take off at the end of the year, neither making the playoffs nor getting a great draft pick. Joy.

Drink Cheerwine Lock o’ the Week:

BEARS (-2) over Vikings
The Bears screwed me over last week losing at home to the Seahawks, so I’ll give them one more shot with another surprisingly small line. My biggest fear here is that Adrian Peterson will gash the Bears D that’s missing Brian Urlacher and Tim Jennings.

Overall record: 93-93-4

Last week: 7-9

Apple Total: 275

Apple Total Last Week: -55

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