Give Me Something New And Shiny

My last five blogs have now been football picks. I’ve been terribly lazy about writing because of college work and my college newspaper, but that should change soon. I promise I’ll write a non-football article this week–if I don’t, I’ll wear an “I Love A-Rod” shirt for a day.

Without further ado, here are my Week 6 picks; home teams in CAPS.

Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked Games:

Vikings (-1) over REDSKINS
I’ve never been a fan of Christian Ponder, and I’m afraid the Vikings might be stuck with him. He’s good enough to keep Minnesota average, which will prevent them from being able to draft a franchise quarterback. But he’s also good enough to edge the Redskins on the road.

CHARGERS (Pick) over Broncos
I feel like Philip Rivers is always playing in primetime. Rivers is actually 7-3 in his career on Monday night with a 66.8% completion percentage and a 105.2 quarterback rating. However quarterback rating is calculated.

Rams (+4.5) over DOLPHINS
St. Louis may have the 3rd worst passing game and be going up against the best rush defense, but they’ve been able to beat better teams than Miami before.

Lions (+3.5) over EAGLES
I can never pick Eagles games correctly. I just can’t. So I’ll take the points.

Steelers (-6) over TITANS
The Titans just aren’t very good. Chris Johnson is no longer a viable back, and Matt Hasselbeck is starting again. If the Steelers want to make a splash this year, they need to be able to beat Tennessee.

Dunkin’ Donuts Plain Cake Games:

FALCONS (-9.5) over Raiders
The Falcons look great, and Carson Palmer looks like Carson Palmer. In other news, Carson Palmer has been taking even more flak than he deserves because the Raiders gave up 2 first round picks to land him, but he’s still been very bad in Oakland.

Colts (+3.5) over JETS
Could the Jets be any more comical?

Bills (+5.5) over CARDINALS
I’m over the Cardinals fad already. They have a terrible group of quarterbacks and their two below-average running backs are out for the season. Give me something new and shiny.

NINERS (-7) over Giants
This line is probably a little too high, but the Niners are really good. Top in rushing. 2nd in pass defense. A mere 7th in rush defense. Imagine if Peyton Manning came to San Fan…

KFC Double Down Games:

Bengals (-2.5) over BROWNS
When the Jaguars have a bye, my new favorite pastime is betting picking against Brandon Weeden.

BUCCANEERS (-4.5) over Chiefs
Matt Cassel may be bad, but he’s no Brady Quinn.

RAVENS (-3) over Cowboys
The Ravens are one of the three best teams in the AFC, and the Cowboys might not even be one of the three best teams in the NFC East.

I can’t be the only one who sees Bane every time they see J.J. Watt, right?

TEXANS (-3.5) over Packers
It’s strange how quickly the Packers flipped from almost going undefeated to almost having a winning record.

Drink Cheerwine Lock o’ the Week:

Patriots (-3.5) over SEAHAWKS
This game is actually pretty tough to pick for a Drink Cheerwine Lock o’ the Week. The Seahawks give up the least yardage per game and are always fantastic at home with their crazy home field advantage, but how often can you pick the Patriots with such a small line? And such a small line against a pretty average team with a well below-average quarterback.

Overall record: 34-41-2

Last week: 7-7

Apple Total: -45

Apple Total Last Week: 30

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