That Selfish Jerk Cutler

Week 11 picks! Home teams in CAPS!

Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked Games:

Dolphins (+2.5) over BILLS
Miami and Buffalo on Thursday Night Football? You know, some teams just don’t need national television exposure.

TEXANS (-15.5) over Jaguars
I know I shouldn’t take double digit lines, especially ones over two touchdowns. But the Jaguars are just so bad.

FALCONS (-9.5) over Cardinals
Turns out the Falcons aren’t as good as their record was, but most experts were thinking that already. If they’re hoping to do anything at all in the playoffs, though, they’ll need to smack around a team led by John Skelton and LaRod Stephens-Howling

Colts (+9.5) over PATRIOTS
It was pretty easy to root against Peyton Manning’s Colts, but it’s hard not to like Andrew Luck’s Colts.

Dunkin’ Donuts Plain Cake Games:

I’m 3-6 picking Jets games this year, including making just one of my last five picks correctly, so take this pick with a grain of salt. When your picks are worse than the Jets quarterbacks, you know you’re in trouble.

RAMS (-3.5) over Jets
I have no words. The Ain’t Nobody Got Time For This Game of the Week.

Buccaneers (+1) over PANTHERS
The Panthers can’t run the ball, and they can’t stop a nosebleed defensively. Not a good combination.

COWBOYS (-7) over Browns
Would you rather be a fan of a frustratingly enigmatic team or a fan of a perpetually hopeless?

Chargers (+8) over BRONCOS
I’m selling high on the Broncos and buying low on the Chargers. The Chargers have the 2nd best rush defense in the league, and this is usually the time of year Philip Rivers picks up his game.

NINERS (-6.5) over Bears
This would have been a tenfold better game if Jay Cutler didn’t get concussed. That selfish jerk, making us watch Jason Campbell.

KFC Double Down Games:

REDSKINS (-3.5) over Eagles
As bad as Michael Vick has been this year, Nick Foles won’t be any better. In fact, Nick Foles is the 3rd best rookie quarterback in this game behind RG3 and Kirk Cousins.

Bengals (-3) over CHIEFS
Forget last week, the Chiefs are still one of the five worst teams in the league. The Bengals may not be a playoff team, but they’re certainly more than a field goal better than these Chiefs.

Ravens (-3) over STEELERS
No Roethlisberger, no chance. Sorry. I just wish we didn’t have two great matchups soiled by injured quarterbacks.

Saints (-6) over RAIDERS
Looks like the Saints are back. No choice but to jump on this small line.

Drink Cheerwine Lock o’ the Week:

Packers (-3) over LIONS
One year ago, people would have done anything for a Packers line this small. Like we’re talking about watching the entirety of Birdemic: Shock and Terror.

Overall record: 69-74-2

Last week: 5-9

Apple Total: 130

Apple Total Last Week: -20

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